NATIONAL NEWS

20 March 2009

EXPLAINING THE AIG MESS

Washington D.C. AIG has been all over the news this week, and following it is like following a truck driven by two drunk badgers, and a kid named Dennis.  I have followed Dennis before, and that is not easy since Dennis is blind.  Not that two drunk badgers drive much better, but at least they can see who they are killing.

Back to AIG.  AIG sells insurance and financial services.  I don't know much about either one.  Except for the insurance part.  Insurance is where you pay money to be protected from things like death or car wrecks.  I also know that if you make a claim, they cancel you.  Never understood that part.  I do not use AIG insurance or financial services, but apparently lots of people do. 

AIG screwed the pooch and asked the US Congress for a bail out.  Congress said..OOooo..you are big. So they said "Yes".  Now the real reason they said yes was this.  AIG was smart...they contributed a hoop load (that is a scoop short of a double butt load, but one teeny bit more than a butt load) of money to Obama and Congressman Dodd. Now I am not saying politicians can be bought off.  Wait..hehehe...yes I am.  Of course they can be bought off. 

So congress asks "How much money you need"...AIG says "Is 100 billion too much to ask for"...Congress says "Well here..have 170 Billion instead."  AIG says "OK  sure". 

Nancy Pelosi...says "Hey big O, lets give some money to other people who are stupid and lost a lot of money" Big O says "That is a great idea Herr Oberst."...so they put together a list of people who needed a lot of money and called it a Stimulus bill.

Now Big O had said "Everyone will get a chance to look at my bills and then have a say on them before I make them law."  Now Pelosi, Barney Frank, and Chris Dodd said "Whoa big O.  You can't be doing that." Big O asked "Why not."

Little Piggy Pelosi said "Well my house is made of straw, and if they see what you put in there they will blow it down."

Little Piggy Frank said "Well my howse iss made of stwicks and if dey see thwat dey will bwoe it up..hehehehe."

Little Piggy Dodd said "Don't be stupid..and stop asking questions."

So President Oski told Piggy Dodd to make sure they let AIG give their people bonuses.

Now along comes the Big Bad Wolf.  Mr. Liddy, who went to work for AIG for the huge salary of 1 Buck a year, gets called to the Pig Farm (congress).

All the Piggy's yelled "What are you doing, you can't do that..what gives you the right."

Mr. Liddy says "but you said we could..it is in your pork spending, give money to my friends, don't let the people see it, rammed down our throat bill."

"What", the piggies said, "Who did this..what an outrage, you are to blame not us..no not us...you are the big bad wolf..we are just the little piggies!"

The little piggies looked and sure enough there it was in black and white...he sure could give them bonus's...he is right.

So the piggies thought and they thought...and then they thought again. 

Piggy Dodd said "Opps look I did that..but the Big Piggie O told me too."

Oh no...the piggies thought...this can't be.  So they said "NO...The workers and the Big Bad Wolf are to blame..not us..so we will tax them..and tax them..then tell everyone who they are..and the people might hurt them."

And that is how the Big Bad Wolf, who was really not so bad, Got Shafted by the Piggies in Congress.

Who is next?

Mr. Sensitive.








 
Elmer Frank

"Its Wabbit Season!"